UNIT 10

    TEXT

    Are we too quick to blame and slow to praise？ It seems we are.

    Profits of Praise

    It was the end of my exhausting first day as waitress in a busy New York restaurant. My cap had gone awry， my apron was stained， my feet ached. The loaded trays I carried felt heavier and heavier. Weary and discouraged， I didn't seem able to do anything right. As I made out a complicated check for a family with several children who had changed their ice-cream order a dozen times， I was ready to quit.

    Then the father smiled at me as he handed me my tip. "Well done，" he said. "You've looked after us really well."

    Suddenly my tiredness vanished. I smiled back， and later， when the manager asked me how I'd liked my first day， I said， "Fine！" Those few words of praise had changed everything.

    Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit； we cannot flower and grow without it. And yet， while most of us are only too ready to apply to others the cold wind of criticism， we are somehow reluctant to give our fellows the warm sunshine of praise.

    Why - when one word can bring such pleasure？ A friend of mine who travels widely always tries to learn a little of the language of any place she visits. She's not much of a linguist， but she does know how to say one word - "beautiful" - in several languages. She can use it to a mother holding her baby， or to lonely salesman fishing out pictures of his family. The ability has earned her friends all over the world.

    It's strange how chary we are about praising. Perhaps it's because few of us know how to accept compliments gracefully. Instead， we are embarrassed and shrug off the words we are really so glad to hear. Because of this defensive reaction， direct compliments are surprisingly difficult to give. That is why some of the most valued pats on the back are those which come to us indirectly， in a letter or passed on by a friend. When one thinks of the speed with which spiteful remarks are conveyed， it seems a pity that there isn't more effort to relay pleasing and flattering comments.

    It's especially rewarding to give praise in areas in which effort generally goes unnoticed or unmentioned. An artist gets complimented for a glorious picture， a cook for a perfect meal. But do you ever tell you laundry manager how pleased you are when the shirts are done just right？ Do you ever praise your paper boy for getting the paper to you on time 365 days a year？

    Praise is particularly appreciated by those doing routine jobs： gas-station attendants， waitresses - even housewives. Do you ever go into a house and say， "What a tidy room"？ Hardly anybody does. That's why housework is considered such a dreary grind. Comment is often made about activities which are relatively easy and satisfying， like arranging flowers； but not about jobs which are hard and dirty， like scrubbing floors. Shakespeare said， "Our praises are our wages." Since so often praise is the only wage a housewife receives， surely she of all people should get her measure.

    Mothers know instinctively that for children an ounce of praise is worth a pound of scolding. Still， we're not always as perceptive as we might be about applying the rule. One day I was criticizing my children for squabbling. "Can you never play peacefully？" I shouted. Susanna looked at me quizzically. "Of course we can，" she said. "But you don't notice us when we do."